There is so much I struggle with on a daily basis, it truly is sad. From who I am, What I can do or can't to and so many other things that bring me down. I feel like there is so much strife with in me. I constantly battle with the world and who it wants me to be and with my loving savior and who he desires me to be. I compete with everyone and I never am satisfied with anything I do. Sometimes this causes me to go to the opposite extreme and do absolutely nothing.
My husband recently told me the most amazing thing I've ever heard, I don't remember where he read it, but it was this; "If we had no thought of ourselves, we could be in perfect communion with God." These very words have been echoing inside me since I heard them. It was when Adam and Even began to look inward that the disconnect between them and God began. Looking inward caused them to doubt God's word and then led to direct disobedience.
During my quite time I have been reading A.W. Tozer's, "The Pursuit of God", which is so well written and so thought provoking. My recent thoughts have been why the church is the way it is. Why are we so cold of heart? So uncaring, so inactive? Let me bring that closer to home, why am I so uncaring, so inactive? Because really this is not about anyone else but myself. I can't change anyone else, but me. A.W. Tozer said this, "There is something more serious than coldness of heart... It is the veil of our fleshly fallen nature living on unjudged within us, uncrucified and unrepudiated. It is the close-woven veil of self-life which we have never truly acknowledged, of which we have been secretly ashamed, and for these reasons have never brought them to the judgement of the cross." He also said that "we must distinguish between lazy "acceptance" from the real work of God" and that "we must insist on the work being done."
You see I try to be "good", to have all the appearances of being a good and caring human being. I volunteer at local charities enough to say I do it, I donate my photography services and I'm involved in my church. But something seems to still be missing. I have become to realize that I have been OK with lazy "acceptance" and haven't insisted on the work being done. I mean yeah, I've accepted Jesus as my savior. I live my life for him, I don't curse and I'm extremely conservative. So those are all positives. If I looked deep though, I would say that I haven't brought everything to the cross. I say I want to, because I really want to want to. IF that makes since. BUT, my hearts desire; if I were to be completely honest here... is for God just to conform to my will. I know what I want and I want him to just give it to me.
My favorite verse right now:
1 John 5:21 - Little Children, Keep yourselves from Idols.
I know that verse might not seem like it goes with the rest of what I wrote. But, to me it does. I think this is a direct command from God. Even as children we idolize things that we shouldn't. We are taught that it is OK to in a since. We replace the things of God with God. We are so discontent because we have allowed our hearts desire to be things and not loving God and truly knowing him.
Oh, how I wish to be different this year. To not just say I am going to change, but actually do it. So this post is to publicly declare my goals for the upcoming year.
Goals for 2014:
God's will, not mine. In all things and at all times.
Surrender, Surrender, SURRENDER.
Stop fighting a battle that has already been won.
Stop yearning for things and start yearning for Jesus.
Everything else is secondary.
Blessings,
Crystal Roberts
My husband recently told me the most amazing thing I've ever heard, I don't remember where he read it, but it was this; "If we had no thought of ourselves, we could be in perfect communion with God." These very words have been echoing inside me since I heard them. It was when Adam and Even began to look inward that the disconnect between them and God began. Looking inward caused them to doubt God's word and then led to direct disobedience.
During my quite time I have been reading A.W. Tozer's, "The Pursuit of God", which is so well written and so thought provoking. My recent thoughts have been why the church is the way it is. Why are we so cold of heart? So uncaring, so inactive? Let me bring that closer to home, why am I so uncaring, so inactive? Because really this is not about anyone else but myself. I can't change anyone else, but me. A.W. Tozer said this, "There is something more serious than coldness of heart... It is the veil of our fleshly fallen nature living on unjudged within us, uncrucified and unrepudiated. It is the close-woven veil of self-life which we have never truly acknowledged, of which we have been secretly ashamed, and for these reasons have never brought them to the judgement of the cross." He also said that "we must distinguish between lazy "acceptance" from the real work of God" and that "we must insist on the work being done."
You see I try to be "good", to have all the appearances of being a good and caring human being. I volunteer at local charities enough to say I do it, I donate my photography services and I'm involved in my church. But something seems to still be missing. I have become to realize that I have been OK with lazy "acceptance" and haven't insisted on the work being done. I mean yeah, I've accepted Jesus as my savior. I live my life for him, I don't curse and I'm extremely conservative. So those are all positives. If I looked deep though, I would say that I haven't brought everything to the cross. I say I want to, because I really want to want to. IF that makes since. BUT, my hearts desire; if I were to be completely honest here... is for God just to conform to my will. I know what I want and I want him to just give it to me.
My favorite verse right now:
1 John 5:21 - Little Children, Keep yourselves from Idols.
I know that verse might not seem like it goes with the rest of what I wrote. But, to me it does. I think this is a direct command from God. Even as children we idolize things that we shouldn't. We are taught that it is OK to in a since. We replace the things of God with God. We are so discontent because we have allowed our hearts desire to be things and not loving God and truly knowing him.
Oh, how I wish to be different this year. To not just say I am going to change, but actually do it. So this post is to publicly declare my goals for the upcoming year.
Goals for 2014:
God's will, not mine. In all things and at all times.
Surrender, Surrender, SURRENDER.
Stop fighting a battle that has already been won.
Stop yearning for things and start yearning for Jesus.
Everything else is secondary.
Blessings,
Crystal Roberts